


No One ****s Like Gaston

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Genre: Brothel AU, Gift Fic, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Knotting Devices, No Knotting - No Kissing - No Bodily Fluid Exchanges of Any Sort, No actual sex happens, Omega Gaston, Yuletide, a/b/o dynamics, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-09 23:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8918524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: Years after Belle married That Damned Monster, Gaston and LeFou are desperate for work. Fortunately for them, the Fallen Roses brothel is hiring. Unfortunately, Belle runs it. But she'll be kind to a childhood friend, won't she?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butterflyslinky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/gifts).



> butterflyslinky, you had no characters listed, no fic prompts, no author letter… and I have an evil, evil muse that hates me. And hates fandom. So I thought, it's time for this fandom to get some A/B/O brothel fic. Also, I took, um, liberties with the characters' personalities. Which is to say, this is total crackfic _please don't hate me_. I hope you can enjoy this in the spirit it was meant - something fun and maybe mildly disturbing. It's... fluffy ABO fic? Ish?

**NOW HIRING**  
_Fallen Roses is looking for talented companions to address the needs of unpartnered alphas and omegas. No experience necessary; we can train personnel of any dignity. We even work with bonded partners! All that's required is a willingness to participate in short-term bondings._

***

"Gaston! Gaston, look!"

"What is it, LeFou? I don't think that newspaper is going to bring us dinner."

"No, better than dinner—a job!"

"What kind of job? I'm not going back to the zoo. Those monkeys were too frisky."

"Nah, a good job! One where you'll get to be as strong and, and impressive as you were born to be!"

"Impressive, eh? Tell me more…"

***

Belle looked up from her desk at the two men—one very large, one much smaller—standing in the doorway. The larger one looked familiar, and she peered at him with a frown. He reminded her of someone...

"M-madame Belle?" the smaller one said. "W-we read, I mean, in the paper, it said you had, that you were… hiring?" his voice trailed off to almost a whisper as he fidgeted with his hat. Definitely not an alpha, that one.

She looked the two of them over. Peasant backgrounds, like herself, but obviously fallen on hard times. Their clothes were ragged (the little man's were in worse shape), and they both looked like they'd be happier and healthier with a few more pounds on them. 

She smiled as warmly as she could. "Fallen Roses is always hiring… the right people," she said. "Why don't you warm up for a bit before telling me what brought you here—please, sit down, be comfortable." And with that, the two of them meekly collapsed into the comfortable chairs she kept for guests.

These two were odd, but no more strange than some she'd seen. Her own Adam had seemed almost omega-like, snarling and vicious at anyone who didn't radiate authority, until the two of them had managed to override the damage done by years of neglect and abuse. Now he was a proud and loyal alpha, thrilled to have a beta wife who managed the business while he served the needs of bondless omegas.

Well, best to get things started. These two seemed too desperate to have really thought about the job. They were probably thinking it was as simple as beta prostitution—or that they'd be getting their own needs and desires met for free, without considering the obligations involved.

Better shock them out of that idea quickly.

She turned to the smaller man first. "Betas often have difficulties in this line of work," she said. "The alphas will need constant attention to keep them focused on you instead of wandering away. We have perfumes and such to mimic omega heat cycles, but some alphas are too sensitive for them. You'd have to agree that if an alpha isn't compatible, you wouldn't be paid for the assignment. And it's often very difficult to mimic alpha rut with an omega—you'd need to be very assertive."

The man nodded eagerly. "I can do that!" he said. 

"We have… accessories, to help simulate the knot," she continued. "And you'd have to practice. Any awkwardness or embarrassment would be disastrous for the omega—a bad knotting can prolong the heat for days."

"Oh, I know, I know," he said, still nodding. "I've gotten quite, I mean, that is, I've heard that betas can be plenty bossy enough for omegas. Why, some might even prefer a beta to some alpha whose rut is just driven by mindless urges."

"I… suppose that might be true…" Belle trailed off, not wanting to be rude, but not willing to have employees who didn't understand dignitary nature.

"Why, yes," he continued, wandering around the room and talking in a sing-song voice.  
"Why would an omega want some big, stinky, rutting alpha,  
      with a knot as big as my fist?" —and with that, he thrust his arm up in the _[bras d'honneur](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bras_d%2527honneur)_ , startling Belle.  
"An omega would rather be cutting alfalfa" —and he took on the stance of a farmer swinging a pitchfork—  
      "than be at the mercy of some dom for a tryst.  
An omega should never act like a coward;  
      an omega doesn't need to be overpowered—" he careened around the room, singing and dancing, not noticing the man he came in with.

That man was gripping the arms of the chair, sweat beading on his brow, biting his lip; he shuddered at the word _overpowered_. 

" _Shut up_ ," he whispered. And when that didn't work, he yelled: "SHUT UP, LEFOU!"

"LeFou!" Belle gasped. "I knew you looked familiar! Gaston, you've… changed," she ended weakly.

Gaston was much thinner than he'd been when she'd known him, and the ragged, scraggly beard had disguised enough of his features that she hadn't recognized him. 

She spoke softly to him. "Of course I can find you a job. We have several alphas nearby who can't seem to settle down with a regular bondmate, and—"

"No!" he exclaimed, looking panicked. "I can't—I won't—I mean," and he pulled himself up, "I'm an alpha!"

Belle looked at him incredulously for a moment before she cracked up.

"Oh, that's so _cute_ ," she said to LeFou. "You really shouldn't indulge that, you know. It could get him hurt."

"You don't talk to him!" Gaston interrupted. " _I'm_ the alpha! You talk to _me!_ " He stomped his foot.

Belle was overwhelmed with giggles. Gaston glared at her, looking the epitome of omega petulance—which she realized he really did think looked like alpha rage. She stifled her laughter and tried to stop her lip from twitching.

"Really? You really think you can pass for a alpha?"

His chest swelled up as he pointed his thumb at his heart. "I have passed for an alpha for years!" And then he realized what he'd just said, and his cheeks turned adorably red. "I mean—I AM an alpha! I don't have to pass for one!"

"Oh really," Belle said drily. She opened a drawer in her desk, and pulled out something the men couldn't see. They both leaned forward, watching her avidly—then she _SLAMMED_ the drawer shut, and they flinched back. 

She kept a few accessories in the desk; she often had to explain to shy omegas how beta couplings could work for them. Some didn't want an alpha who wouldn't be a permanent bondmate. She brought out the largest sample phallus she had—a monster of a thing as long as her forearm, with a knot almost the size of her fist; it was the one that was modeled on Adam. She placed it upright on the table.

Gaston fell to his knees. "Please," he whispered, unable to take his eyes away from it.

"Oh yes," Belle said with a gentle smile. "I think we can find a place for you here."


End file.
